just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
