We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
