I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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