yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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