Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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