Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
