So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
