dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
