dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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