Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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