just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
