why didn't you poke me back
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
