i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
