4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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