I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
