How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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