Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
