I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
