he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Randomize
