there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
