Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He better not be in your backpack
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
