i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
