and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
