I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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