my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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