Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
