ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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