i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize