we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
