I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
