just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
