You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
