Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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