I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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