Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
