we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
