Im at strip club and am horny
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
