Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
