somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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