No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
