Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Randomize
