Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
