It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize