That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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