We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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