Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
