marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I cockslap morals
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
