In the future we'll all be gay
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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