Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We were destined to go to rehab together
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
