Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
