If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
