don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
